Fighting with Ourselves

Discipline and routine are potent tools that help us feel organized, productive, and in control. We’ve all heard the saying, “Practice makes perfect,” and developing healthy habits requires consistent repetition. However, despite our best intentions, we sometimes sabotage our efforts by rebelling against the things that are supposed to make our life easier. If you struggle with this paradoxical behaviour, you’re not alone. Fear of failure is often the main reason, but let’s examine a few other explanations.

Lack of Autonomy

Sometimes we rebel against discipline and routine because we feel we’re being forced to do something against our will. Whether it’s a strict diet plan we created, an exercise schedule that starts before dawn, or a daily routine of chores and errands before play, we may resent the feeling of being “told what to do,” even if it is ourselves doing the telling. To combat this, try incorporating more choice and freedom into your habits. For example, rather than sticking to the same gym routine day after day, mix things up with new activities inside or outside the gym. When we feel like we have more control over our habits, we’re more likely to stick with them.

Emotional Resistance

Other times we might rebel against our rules simply because we’re in a bad mood. Emotions like irritability, sadness, and anxiety can disrupt our plans and make it hard to focus on the task at hand. When this happens, it’s helpful to acknowledge and address our emotions rather than trying to suppress them. Doing something different such as going for a walk or chatting with a friend or colleague, might be the perfect antidote to a shift in mood. Finding your way of taking a “time-out” is well worth the effort.

Burnout and Overload

We may also rebel against our habit-forming nature if we feel burnt out and overwhelmed. If our to-do list looks like 101 ways to destroy any enjoyment in your day, week, or month, we can quickly become exhausted and resentful. How often have you taken work home over the weekend, with the full intention of getting ahead of your upcoming week, to return on Monday morning, not having looked at any of it? When this happens, your body is trying to tell you something. Rather than pushing ourselves to do more and more, we must learn to listen and give ourselves the time and space we need to recharge.

Knowing that there are several key reasons you rebel against your own rules and regulation, the next step is figuring out what to do about it. Don’t throw away your version of discipline and routine. Instead, evaluate the situation and determine how to modify it to suit you.

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, states it perfectly when he writes, “Professionals stick to the schedule; amateurs let life get in the way.”  

Time Evaluation

I think I’ve been a time-tracker since birth, so when I found myself in full-on rebellion at one of the busiest times of my career, I started to track my weekend hours (hour by hour) from when I woke up to when I went to bed. I then created a simple legend with my highlighters and colour-coded the various weekend activities. Purple was for errands/housework, green was for fitness and time outside in nature, blue was for work tasks/emails, and orange was for social time with others. After 90 days of tracking, I noticed that there were clear themes. I had very few, if any, green or orange “fun” moments. Instead, my list was full of purple and blue dots—the not-so-fun tasks. My brain now had the evidence it needed to acknowledge the problem. Something had to change, and I went on a very long journey to course-correct my actions and expectations. I’m still a work in progress, but the mind shift was exactly what I needed to work through my haziness.

Rather than pushing ourselves to do more and more, we must learn to listen to our bodies and give ourselves the time and space we need to recharge. We must be willing to make self-care a non-negotiable part of our routine.

Addressing the Challenge

We rebel against our wisdom for various reasons that range from fear of failure to burnout and overload. However, these challenges are not insurmountable. By acknowledging and addressing our emotions, prioritizing self-care and autonomy, and shifting our mindset from perfection to progress, we can create sustainable habits that support our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. When we feel in control of our habits, we feel in control of our lives, and that’s a powerful feeling to work towards. So keep going, stay consistent, and remember that even small steps can lead to significant changes over time.

Today’s Hashtag: Mischief-maker