Bent Out of Shape

Have you ever felt so frustrated that you can barely hold it together? Perhaps you’ve imagined breaking a plastic hanger into itty-bitty pieces or throwing a recently chipped porcelain bowl straight out the living room window, hoping this will calm you down. For some reason, you believe these destructive actions might provide inner peace or at least break the tension you’re feeling.

Well, I get it. Some days I feel like a wild cat ready to pounce, but frustration is our minds and bodies telling us that we’re out of alignment. Something (or somebody) is pushing against one of our values, and to remove the frustration, and its root cause, requires greater understanding and patience of self.

But what is it that gets us so bent out of shape? What is fueling our various levels of frustration?

When I can’t figure out why I’m acting a certain way, I often turn to Dr. Google. And although I stumble upon various words of wisdom, they don’t always apply to my angst, and dread can quickly set in. What if this version of frustration continues all day, week, or even the whole month?

And, of course, things go sideways when I’m in this miserable state. I’m suddenly unable to think clearly, stub my toe on the corner of my bed for the umpteenth time, or spend two hours searching for my favourite cauliflower soup recipe that has mysteriously disappeared when I should have been doing my taxes instead.

This frustration and misguided energy indicate it’s time to slow down, rethink, and readjust. One solution might be to try the stress management techniques outlined by Elizabeth Scott, Ph.D. (link in footer), which range from distraction to mindfulness. But if all these tips don’t meet your expectations, I find the inquiry AWE tool (And What Else?) from Michael Bungay Stanier helpful. He outlines a series of questions that push you towards unblocking the reason for your frustration or inability to see another point of view.

All you need is a journal or digital device and respond to the following questions:

What’s on your mind?

And what else?

And what else?

When you hit the second “what else,” the clouds begin to clear, and this is when you ask yourself the final question: What is the real challenge here for you?

It’s incredible how much we can learn when we give ourselves the time. Enjoy the discovery!

Today’s Hashtag: Clarity